Tired of my job: Jomar's story from the night shift

At six in the morning, Jomar walks out of a building in Ortigas. The office crowd is just arriving in their work clothes. He is going home in a hoodie, his headset still around his neck because he forgot to take it off.

He boards a jeepney to Pasig and falls asleep before he has even paid. More than once the driver has woken him at the end of the route. "Boss, last stop na." He nods, gets off and rides back the other way.

He has been on the account for three years, and he is good at it. His CSAT is high, and he is the one they call when a customer is angry. Lately, though, something has changed. Before he even logs in, the back of his neck aches. When the beep of a new call sounds, his stomach clenches.

When the beep of a new call sounds, his stomach clenches.

"Ma, pagod na ako sa trabaho," he told his mother one Sunday. "Lahat naman pagod, anak," she said as she set out lunch. She had a point, Jomar thought, so he didn't say it again.

Every night, though, his steps get slower as he walks to the building. Sometimes he stands outside the 7-Eleven for five minutes, staring at his phone, before he goes in.

Sleep no longer fixed Jomar's tiredness. Even after eight hours in bed during the day, his mind was still on the calls. Sometimes he heard the hold music in his dreams.

Night shift is hard. Your hours run backwards from the rest of the house. The neighbors are noisy, someone is singing videoke, your mother is cooking. When you are awake, your barkada is asleep. Little by little, life shrinks to work and sleep.

He noticed he had become short-tempered too. A little noise from his nephew and he was irritated. He used to love playing basketball on his rest days. Now he lay in bed scrolling until it was time for his shift again.

This is what burnout can look like: a tiredness that rest doesn't fix, feeling fed up with work or numb toward it, and the sense that whatever you do, it is never enough.

The heaviest part was the shame of saying it. He was the breadwinner at home. He and his brother were paying off a motorbike. How could he complain when he had a job?

There was no single big answer. He made a few small changes, one at a time, and that is where things slowly got lighter.

First, he protected his sleep in small ways. He bought an eye mask and earplugs and hung a thick blanket over the window. He asked his mother, "Ma, kung puwede po, huwag muna akong gisingin hanggang alas-dos." It wasn't perfect, and he slept longer.

Second, he made a "closing" for the end of each shift. Before heading home, he sat in the pantry for ten minutes, drank some water and typed the calls that were bothering him into his phone. Then he told himself, "Tapos na ang shift. Bukas na ulit 'yan."

Third, he used his leave. He had been saving it for an emergency. A teammate told him, "Pre, emergency na 'yan." He filed three days. He did nothing special. He slept, ate with his family and walked in the mornings. That turned out to be what he needed.

Pre, emergency na 'yan.

Fourth, he talked to his team lead. He was nervous, and he said it plainly anyway: the back-to-back escalations were wearing him down. To his surprise, his team lead said they had noticed. They shared the heavy calls with other senior agents, and his team lead told him about the company's free counseling. He went. It was the first time he said out loud how tired he really was.

And he went back to praying. One night before his shift, his prayer was short. He read Matthew 11:28 and simply said, "Lord, pagod na po ako." For Jomar, it was the most honest prayer he had said in a long time.

A few months later he is still tired now and then. It is still the night shift. He gets up to play basketball on his rest days again, though, and he no longer stops outside the 7-Eleven before going in.

If you are reading this on your break, or on the jeepney home, take a breath first. Tiredness like this is a sign you have been carrying something heavy for a long time.

Pick one thing Jomar did and try it this week. A closing routine after your shift. A conversation with your team lead. The leave you have been saving.

If you have felt like this for more than two weeks, or it is getting hard to get up and do the things you used to do, talk to a doctor or counselor. That is a normal next step, and help works.

If you want somewhere to start right now, HopeBegins is free. Pick how you feel and get one small thing to try today, calming tools, someone to pray for you, and an e-coach you can message on Messenger. Burnout has more practical steps too.